Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
If you can't change the system, learn to live with it!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
A logical approach..
by Dov Heller, M.A.
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!
- You can grow together, or
- You can grow apart.
50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!
Bottom line - Marry someone who wants the same thing. Question - 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry. Question - 3: Is he/she a mensch?A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ";. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world -
- People who are dedicated to personal growth and
- People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.
Question - 4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed?To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well. Question - 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework. Another Perspective -There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay Attention -- Which ones lift and which ones lean?
- Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
- Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
- When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
- Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.
- Do you bring out the best in each other?
- Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
- What do you bring to the relationship?
- Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
- You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS -- Trust
- Communication
- Intimacy
- A Sense of Humor
- Sharing Tasks
- Some get away time without Business or Children.
- Daily Exchanges (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)
- Sharing Common Goals & Interests.
- Giving each other space to grow without feeling Insecure.
- Giving each other a sense of Belonging & Assurances of Commitment.
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.
- Life starts with a Voice but ends with Silence
- Love starts with a Fear but ends with Tears
- Friendship starts Anywhere and ends Nowhere
Friday, December 10, 2010
Attack against Truth!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Where Am I..?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Worm in Sub at Subway , Hitech city (hyderabad)
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Career Path Finder...Highly informative
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Friday, September 17, 2010
Going Green Begins At Home
A Beautiful Coffee
Monday, September 13, 2010
Saturday, September 04, 2010
Apache POI Cell Background Problem and Resolution
cell = currentRow.createCell(0); CellStyle cs = wb.createCellStyle(); cs.setFillForegroundColor(HSSFColor.ROSE.index); cs.setFillPattern(CellStyle.SOLID_FOREGROUND);
Monday, August 30, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Handling DOJO FileUpload, JavaServlet and Cross Browser Issues
My use cases is as follows
2. Submit an AJAX Request to the Server and wait to receive an XML as response from server
3. Pick the request and handle it in Java Servlet
4. Send Response to the client
5. Handle the response and display the result in a text area
6. Handle IELets start of with Step 11. Design a form similar to this <form dojoType="dijit.form.Form" id="myForm" method="post" enctype="multipart/form-data">
<div>
<table width="100%">
<tr>
<td colspan="2">
<label class="firstLabel" for="name">Parameter 1</label>
<br>
<input type="text" id="url" name="url" style="width: 800px; padding-left: 0px" class="medium"
dojoType="dijit.form.ValidationTextBox"
required="true"
ucfirst="true" invalidMessage=""/>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td id="uploadKeyStore" style="display:none;" >
<div id="uploadContainer" style="margin-top: 15px;">
<input type="hidden" name="MAX_FILE_SIZE" value="500000">
<!-- wrapping these in spans to be able to modify
parts of this form depending on what the
dojo.io.iframe.submit() does -->
<input type="file" class="medium" id="fileInput" name="uploadTestFile" style="width: 400px;">
</div>
<br/>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
</div> <div class="formAnswer">
<textarea style="width: 400px;height:500px" id="request" name="request" >
</textarea>
<textarea style="width: 400px; height:500px" id="response" name="response"></textarea>
</div>
<div dojoType="dijit.form.Button" id="start">
Submit
</div>
</form>
2. In your javascript make sure u add the following dojo.addOnLoad(function(){
dojo.query("#start").onclick(function(){
dojo.byId("response").value = "Waiting for the response.."
dojo.io.iframe.send({
url: this.url,
form : 'myForm',
method: "post",
handleAs: "xml",
"accept-charset" : "UTF-8",
enctype:"multipart/form-data",
handle: handleInitialResponse)
});
});
}
function handleInitialResponse(response){
//Code to be added
}3. Code the Java Servlet. I have used apache FileUpload library to do this as it offer facility to handle multiple types of request parameters Code example can be found in the apache site.
Important points to note when coding the servlet.
Your response type is very crucial.
If you choose to send response as plain text or html,
MAKE SURE YOU WRAP YOUR RESPONSE WITH A TEXT AREA BEFORE SENDING THE RESPONSE.
<textarea>[Your Response]</textarea>
response.setContentType("text/html");
This has serious limitation with IE7. Hence I would suggest not to go with this.
If you choose to send response as plain xml,
response.setContentType("text/xml");
NO NEED TO WRAP YOUR RESPONSE WITHIN A TEXT AREA
4. Handling the Servlet Response at the client keeping IE7 in mind Here comes the most trickest part.
If your response type is HTML, you are up for a party with IE7. I couldn't crack it and hence i worked around with xml. Make sure your handleAs element is "xml"
Define the response handler as below
function handleInitialResponse(response){
try {
// Gecko-based browsers, Safari, Opera.
dojo.byId("response").value = new XMLSerializer().serializeToString(response);
}
catch (e) {
try {
dojo.byId("response").value = response.xml ;
}
catch (e)
{//Strange Browser ??
alert('Xmlserializer not supported');
}
}
}
The code above is not compler friendly. Pls make sure you hit right basics to make the things work.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Bottleneck
The pic below is not a car parking. The Grey block is the marker for the small lane which everyone in this pic trying to sneak into.. by the way i'm among the minority waiting in the actual route waiting sincerely for my turn.
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Sunday, August 01, 2010
Boundary Between Countries......
Hope the world celebrates Friendship.. for a long long time! Happy Friendship Day!
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