Sravan Kumar Sarraju: February 2010

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Ant and India

An Old Story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the
summer away..

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or
shelter so he dies out in the cold.

Indian Version:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and
laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the
summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
with food..

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

KCR goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding Seperate State (GrassLand).

KCR Slogan : Grasshoppers JAAGO, Ants BAAGO.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that
Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter .
Mayawati states this as `injustice' done on Minorities.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian Government for
not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt
support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) .

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for 'Bengal Bandh' in
West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard
in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and
Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism
Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the
winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational
Institutions & in Government Services .

The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left
to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated by the Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.

KCR says :" JAI GRASSHOPPER THALLI. JAI GRASSLAND"

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley ,

100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation and Seperate Statehood somewhere
in India,

.
..AND

As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the
grasshoppers,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.We have leader to motivate innocent Sudents to Commit Suisides to prove their existence.

India is still a developing country!!!

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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Google’s glass elevator

This is SIMPLY SUPERB!!!!

Source : http://blogs.news.com.au/techblog/index.php/news/comments/liquid_galaxy_project_is_googles_glass_elevator/

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Nice Speech by Akbaruddin Owaisi

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Monday, February 22, 2010

The right place to voice views on Telangana

Courtesy: http://www.fullhyderabad.com/hyderabad-news/justice-srikrishna-committee-email-telephone-numbers-and-address-327

Much discussion had happened on Telangana and lot of time spent on it and more than any other word, this is the word that happens to be invariably be on our discussions these days. But finally we have a place where we can express our views and I feel we should do it as well. With the Justice Srikrishna Committee inviting opinions from the society, they have announced the means of contacting them. Read along.

Want to contact the Justice Srikrishna Committee examining the request for Telangana? Here's how!

The Committee is now seeking the opinions of political parties, organizations, individuals & groups on the vexed issue, and its contact details, including email, telephone numbers and address have been given out as below. You can do the following to reach them:

1. Write to vkduggal.ccsap@mha.gov.in

2. Send snail mail to the following address:

Member Secretary
Room No. 248
Vignan Bhavan Annexe
Maulana Azad Road
New Delhi

3. Call at the following numbers:

011-23022300
011-23022444

Your communication must reach the committee within 30 days (so make sure it reaches them before March 20). vinodkumar.duggal@yahoo.in is an alternate email you can try.

The public notice of the committee will appear on February 20, 2010, and V K Duggal, a member, is expected to tour AP on 23rd and 24th on February to seek various opinions.

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Saturday, February 20, 2010

Happy Days Reloaded

Importing my best moments of engineering from orkut

First Year

First bench lo karthik and mayur la sneha bandham chusi vellu last 4 janmala nunchi best friends emo ani anukunevaadini...

Kavita ni first tension padutu chusindi branches sliding appudu...tanaki ece vastunda leda ani tension padutondi nenu vellesariki...

Chemistry sir inko pedda highlight..ayana class lo notes rayadam compulsory...mundu bench lo kurchoni notes lo pichi geetalu geestunna ayana notes rasstunnam anukunevaaru...

First internals marks ichinappudu inter student laaga physics lo 18 ee vachai enti ani tega baadha padda...[:))]

Chemistry internal araveera ghoram ga raasina marks 20/20 vachai ani sir cheppinappudu dias meedakekkina naa reaction inka naa mind lone vundi...daaniki ayana em feel avvakapovadam inka highlight...

Freshers party taj krishna t2 lo ki vachaka gaani telialedu freshers disco party ani...3 roses vachai ani tega murisipoya party ayyaka...

There comes first year externals...solo prep...inter laaga anni subjects spectrum konesi..imp ques prepare chesi batting start chesa...chemistry exam varaku movie baane nadichindi...naa engineering history lo twist aa chemistry exam...nenem raasano...vaadem chusado...20 max expect chesthe 40 vachai...aaa roju nunchi naa examination preparation style kotha punthalu tokkindi....

Asale exam dobbi kadupu kaali bayataki vasthe baaga raasi kuda tension pade swathi and kavitha ni chusi jeevitham meeda first lo virakthi kaligedi...tarvatha alavaataipoindi...

2007 Cricket world cup laaga eppatiki avvani first year exams last aina roju edo engg ainantha ga anaanandam...

Second Year

Second Year starting lo room evaritho teesukovali ekkada ani boldu permutations and combinations tarvatha scene cut chesthe Nenu, veeresh, chandu, Pradeep...ee room combination super hit avutundi ani appatlo anukoledu...

Veeresh chestalu vaadiki maa geetopadesalu...vaadu maaku iche geetopadesalu...maa vanta...pradeep pappu...naa fry and papad..chandu rasam...veeresh??? veedu peddaga em chesevaadu kaadu...

Edo podicheddam...first year anta cs kaadu..ippude cs ..keka chadavaali ani tega aavesam ga start chesina 2-1 oka disaster ga end aindi...

ECM sir class lo nidrapothu dorikipoinappudu...BE sir class starting lo chesina oa ki ending lo twist vunnapatiki nenu ayana best student aipovadam...

Mithlesh ,Vishnu, Sravan and their room mates tho time pass..shoppings...midnight 12 ki smasanam meeda nunchi central bags pattukoni walks...

Mithlesh freshers preparations...chandu break dance...veeresh study for exams...maa cooking tho ala ala 2-1 end avutundaga.....

Externals papers ghorati ghoram ga ravadam...BE exam varaku everything almost ok...2 days before BE exam..started struggle...yuvasena cinema ki velli...next day prep start chesi..vanta chestu...imp question chusi nenu nasanam avvadame kaakunda avi chaduvu ani shravanthi ki cheppi...BE exam ni vijayavantham ga dobbinchukovadam...aa tarvatha ECM external lab lo asalu nuvvu ikkadidaaka ela vachav ani external adige range lo nenu answers ivvadam...ECM lab head ni pass cheyinchamani brathimaladadam...huh 2-1 exams session was really ghoram...

Mellaga kuntukuntu paakkuntu 2-2 loki adugu petti edo 3 bunklu 6 proxies tho kaalam gaduputhu nuvvosthante cinema ki oka roju velthe....naa jeevitham lo marchipoleni oka shock andarini movie theatres lonchi bayataki techi net cafes lo kurchopettindi...BE results...2 marks taggithe feel aipothe oka andhra inter student exam fail avvadam ante...adi enta shock...

Akkada scene cut cheste..

Jan first...haayiga mount opera ki podam ani plan vesukoni nenu chandu chotu bayaluderutunte...chotu ni maa owners dog RHYNO saradaaga kiss chesindi....paapam chotu...

scene cut cheste...

freshers party...

Freshers party ki ghoramain preparations...juniors ki oka cd iddamani oka kalatmakamaina idea...daani discussions ki andaru net center ki velli conference...freshers cd profiles ki background songs aithe highlight...especially one for girvani..naa peru cheppukondi song....adi atyanta prekshaka aanandam pondindi...

Cd's write chese time ki chandu sys dobbatam...64 mbs pen drive mithl room ki maa room ki data tranfer in the midnite...

Last ki freshers party tho padina tensions and head aches anni pogottukoni 2nd year on a gud note end chesam....

Third Year

Third Year...ikkadi nunchi lite ga enjoyment ane part jeevitam loki add aindi...veeresh exams lo exceptional performance ichi vellipoga...tarvatha nenu chandu gate ani pradeep cat ani decide ayyi danda

chikadpally ki marcham...

Chandu and nenu Gate classes ki povadam...slow ga chain reaction laaga classes bunk kottadam...appudeganaka ameerpet ace deggara mcD vunte Gate lo vachedemo iddariki...vijayavantham ga gate coaching mellaga

dobbinchukuntu..3-1... 30 bunks 60 proxies tho saagipoindi...

Exams eesari kothaga combined studies..intial ga maa gang ki chotu, karthik, combined studies ki join ayyaru...mellaga adi snakes game lo snake laaga peruguthu me chandu pradeep uday karhtik chotu shakeel

rohan ashwin santosh shravanthi ..appudappudu raghu pramod vinay 890 vinay 876 ila join avutu vunde vaaru...exam vachindi ante maa room oka pedda fish market laaga vundedi...but ikkada fishes badulu

books,xeroxes..beralu badulu explanations...karthik chandu pradeep ee mugguru focal points ga veeri chuttu maa prep jarigedi...

3-1 lo peddaga visheshalemi gurthu levu endukante...ee pani sarigga cheyyaledu aa sem lo coaching ki poledu college ki kuda poledu...samayaaniki raddamante subjects kuda gurthuravatledu...

Room lo matram Shakeel alias Vinay 920 gaari tho maa sannihityam peragadam tho tindi food ane vibhaagaala meeda maa drushti mallindi...prapancham lo mottamodati saariga "TINDI BY AUTO" ane concept ni

introduce chesi...ekkado old city lo idli baaguntundi ante auto kattukoni mari velli tini 20rs tifin bill ki 50 rs auto vadilinchukoni vachevallam...idi jabbu mellaga gang mottanki paakadam modalayyindi...

Elago ala exams complete chesi 3-2 loki enter ayyam...Gate classes 90 percent dobbinchesukoni...300 bunks 600 proxies tho maa 3-2 saagindi...eelopu..

tinnadi gaali tour meeda padi..industrial tour plan chesi

naana tantaalu padi princi ni oppinchi...last ki elago ala bayaluderam..ikakda highlight entante half of the class mass histerial laaga gre andaru post pone chesi mari tour ki ravadam...annitikante highlight

entante..feb 12 gate pettukoni jan 15th nenu chandu tour ki potugallalaaga bayaluderadam....ee industrial tour prep lo highlights as follows...

1. Pradeep lo nidralechina leader

2. Eppudu tour moham erugani vallaaga andaru manalni chusi flat aipovali anna range lo tour shoppings chesi mottaniki train ekkadam...(of course evadu peddaga pattinchukoneledu adi vere vishayam)

3. Train journey lo dumbshal arts(spelling to be corrected)...chandu vaadu kuda last ki em chestunnano marchipoyeanta creativity tho kudina mono actions...

4. Aadi lone hamsapaadu antu bangalore ki vellagaane chotu saradaaga train kinda vellettadam...daaniki vaadi badulu the tension group (swathi souj and kavita tension padatam)

5. Munnar campfire lo dances..especially last lo chumma chumma de de song ki aa dance aavesam lo nenu chandu rupa mam deggaiki vellipovadam...

6. Return lo train journey..3 patte...deyyam stories...

7. Chennai lo The Kavita Episode...Pandi bazaar nunchi simple ga 14 mandi chinna van lo irukkoni kuyyo morru antu veltunte...kavita vomitings start cheyyadam..aa traffic lo van aapaleka plastic cover

pattukoni mundu nunchi nenu..aa scene ni pakkana mayur close ga enjoy chestu tanu kuda involve avvadam...ee scene tho ee sambandam leni shilpa edavadam.....final twist taxi

driver central railway station ante ooru bayata chennai city centre ki teeskelladam...abbo ado pedda scene...

8. Last but not the least..ippatiki naaku breakfast avasaram lekunda chesina event...hyd lo digagaane pc pc ani piliche shakeel 6600 lokaaniki ankitam avvadam...

Ila industrial tour complete chesi vacham..within 2 weeks gate succesful ga dobbinchukoni...

inka tinnadi aragaka tech fest ani malli sarikotta time pass activity...

Samavarthan highlights...

1. Asalu ee fest ki college vallani oppinchadame pedda head ache aindi...appudu samayaaniki rising star pradeep rangam loki digi mottam college paruvu pratistha ni tana bhujaala meeda veskoni badhyatalu

sweekarinchi munduku kadilaadu...

2. IIT tech fest websites chusi murisipoyi ilage manam pettedam ani aavesam ga website ni nenu reponsibility teesukovadam...

3. IT companies lo kuda lenanthaga deadlines ivvadam...

4. Online treasure hunt,chandu programing contest using linux in collaboration with IIIT ...azim sir last ki ettukoni muddulaate anta ga impress chesina chandu dedication and confidence...

5. Main vishayam marchipoya..ee fest ki 1,45,388 coordinators and 25 participants comprising 18 Coordinators + 4 Juniors(raakapothe iragottadame) + 1 (veedu papam coll bayata edo address vethukutunte maa

coordinators ki dorikipoyadu..sagam prizes anni vaadike)...Jokes apart it went gud...andaru mechukunnaru...

Ala fest sandadi complete chesi..malli gang tho combined studies saaginchi..final ga 3-2 complete chesam......

Final Year

Ippatidaaka oka cinema aithe..ikkadinunchi climax annamaata...bhari sentiment ,action comedy suspense anni vunnai ee climax lo...ade 4th year...

Holidays gap chaala vachindi 3rd year ending ki 4th year ki beginning madhyalo...ee gap lo andaram illaki velli evaru gurthupattaleni sizes loki maari tirigi malli entry icham...industrial tour appudu postpone chesina gre exam ee holidays lo raasi succesful ga andaru dobbinchu koni kalisikattuga munduku saagaru...nenu enduku
taggadam ani scjp certification raasesa...abo abo..appatlo adi enugantha confidence ichindi...

ippatiki maa "Tindi By Auto" concept pathaaka sthaayi(peak stage lo vundi)..shakeel raavadam rey 100 km avathale idli lo karappodi istunnadu raa super raa anadam..memandaram autos kattukoni povadam...ee range lo start aindi...

Scene cut cheste placement training start aindi...maa training appudu infosys oka 1 lakh ,tcs oka 10 lakhs recruit chesesukunnadu ani new vachai...andaram tega interest ga attend ayyam training...it was fun..mellaga aptitude classes bunk chesi...only softskills ki attend ayyam...

Ikkada okati mention cheyyadam marchipoya ippatiki naaku kavita tension ki,soujanya kangaaru ki, swathi bhayam ki reason kanukkolekapoyaa...engg ayyelopu telusukunta le ani anukunna...

Ala training aindi...eelpo Cognizant raane vachindi...daani ppt chusi andaru flat...scene cut cheste ...

August 5th..morning sannaga varsham kurusthondi...call taxi ekki formals lo ready ayyi
college ki bayaluderam..cts placement session ki...andariki excitement...tension...bhayam...

Test aindi andaru parle baane raasaru... last ki ee test ki kuda karthik swathi bayata
paper discussion...adi chusi next company ee manam ani decide aipoya...

results vachai...almost everyone thru the written...interview ki gantalu gantalu waiting...

Pradeep, rohan ki oka pscyho team interview chesi succesfull ga vallaki hand ichindi...

Devudi daya valla naa interview baaga jarindi..interviewer ki nenu poosina masala baaga nachi selected ani appude cheppesadu...

Ikkada highlight ante shravanthi interview...worldcup lo new zealand laaga..slow ga velli kummesi vachindi...

Swathi papam 1lakh questions lo only 99,999 answer chesindi ani select cheyyaledu...

Finally results out...karthik, me, shrav, jashwant,deepa,pramod,keertana,shravanth

i,kavita selected... Ayyo andaram select avvalede..papam vallaki vachi vunte baagundedi...ani nenu kuda edchesanu....dis was the saddest moment in my engg life...appatidaaka andaru oke level lo vastu..sudden ga kontamande selected kontamandi kaadu anagaane vallani chusi chala baadha vesindi..especialy chandu ..class topper oka range talented aina...vaadiki rod padatam...

Lucky ga after 2 days there was wipro...cts raaledanna kasi tho CHandu and pradeep wipro vaadiki chukkalu chupinchi select ayyi vacharu...wipro lo select ayyaka gaani chandu naatho matladaledu...anta kasi vaadiki...

Swati trishu shilpa...got thru in satyam later...followed by rohan unusually in BEL...a govt company...

4-1 exams...idi oka highlight...mottam chain batch anta kalisi combined studies...ee prep highlights...

1. Chandu Curd Rice...

2. Exam ki 100 days gap vunna..99 days baladuru tirigi...last day tension padatam...

3. Andaram first chapter lo pages ee avvatledu ani bhayapadutunte...pradeep two text books complete chesi third lo chinna doubt ani tension padatam...

4. Anni complete chesi timepass ki vache karthik ni chusi naa gundello trains run avvadam...

5. Next day morning exam aithe aa roju nite batting start chese uday, ashwin,santosh,chotu...

6. Silent ga kaburlu cheptune syallabus complete chese shakeel

7. Next day morning exam aithe mundu roju nite 12 ki uday serious ga first unit meeda research cheyyadam...

8. Chandu meeda don with curd rice stories alladam...vaadini aata pattinchadam..

9.Madhya madhyalo nite kuda Tindo By Auto padhakam konasaaaginchadam...

10. Shravanthi room lo fast fast ga units lepeyyadam chusi andaru aascharyapovadam...

11. Ammailake doubts cheptav maaku cheppav ani chandu ni memandaram chavagottadam...paapam maaku cheppevaadu but timepass ki evado okadini chavagotaali kada...

12. Enni difference of preparations vunna...last ki pradeep chandu karu ni teesesthe..migatha vaallandariki oke range lo marks ravadam...

13. Prathi exam ayyaka chandu exam dobbindi ani cheppadam...memu verri mohaalu vesukoni nammadam...last ki vaadiki min 90 percent raavadam..idi chaala common....

14. Repu morning exam elaga anna tension kante ippudu dinner ekkada cheyyali anna matter meede ekkuva discuss chese maa gang...

15. Andaram kalisi oka qualis matladukoni dantlo polo mani exam ki povadam ravadam...

16. Prathi exam min half an hour mundu nenu ichesi ravadam...rohan aa half an hour lone exam mottam rayadam...

17. Exam paper lo line sarigga geyyaledu..ink dark ga ledu..paper naligindi...invisilator kopam ga chusadu...hand writing oka chota baaga ledu...lanti bhayankara kaaranaalaki tanani fail chestademo ani kavita bhayapadatam...avunu antaka mundu okadiki ilaane jarigindi ani nenu bhayapettadam...

Ila cheppukuntu pothe enno vunnai...4-1 complete ayyaka andaru drushti projects meeda malli last ki elago ala andaru edo oka dantlo settle ayyaru...

4-2 lo college gurinchi cheppadaaniki peddaga em ledu...ee sem lo atleast proxies veyyadaaniki coll lo students kaadu kada lecturers kuda leru...

Pradeep Microsoft kottadam...4-2 lo petta twist...tarvata chandu yahoo lo internship kottadam...ala ala okkokkallu mellaga dooram avvadam start aindi...

4-1 ending was almost like end of college ani anukune samayam lo oka chinna twist..4-2 visual programming lab...pscyho lake pschyo viva ki vastadu ani news raagane andariki tension...viva aadukunnadu andarini...karthik tho saha andaru edpulu..kavita souj swathi lu aithe cheppakarledu...last ki elago ala andarini pass chesadu....

Eee post ending ki vastondi anna thought vastuntene naaku baadhaga vundi...inka engg aipoindi happy days r gone ani talchukunnapudalla malli engg vunte enta baagundu ani anipistundi....

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Leader Review in short!

The state of our politics and peoples mind reached such a pathetic levels that even a decent director like Sekhar Kammula literally struggled to fit in all the problems and solutions within a 3 hr time frame..!!

If he talks only abt development, producer will go mad saying people won't prefer movie without entertainment.. if he adds entertainment, those who are seriously concerned about the development like me post review that the movie is not up to the mark..!!

Thumbs up to Director Shankar.. the only director who managed to successfully pass through this complexity..!

Two thumbs up for Sekhar for to have guts to come up with this kind of genre when fellow tollywood associates are busy in exploiting politics for their own good! Leader 3+1/5. 1 for the genre of the movie...!

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Saturday, February 06, 2010

A Drop of Corruption in the Limelight!

Source (CNN IBN) : http://ibnlive.in.com/news/millionaire-ias-officer-has-220-bank-accounts-probe/109763-3.html?from=tn

Imagine how many more IAS officers might be doing the same?

Imagine how many more non IAS officers might be doing the same?

Imagine how many more Politicians officers might be doing the same?

Imagine how many more ministers officers might be doing the same?

And they say India poor!

So called educated are still happy thinking that "All is well with India" and "India will be super power in 2020" and going to movie on voting day.

Educated Peoplewith wisdom are people with Eyes.

Poor, uneducated and so called educated who are driven to the compulsions of their survival are blind.

When dogs run election campaign targetted towards blind saying that they are not Dogs but Gods, and win

Its not the fault of Dog for being a Dog
Its not the fault of Blind for believing what Dog said.
But its the fault of the remaining lot who are watching whole drama and letting it happen and making Dogs rule everybody!

Get Well Soon Intellectuals of India!

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Thursday, February 04, 2010

Five Minute Management Course

Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
 
Morals of the story
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
 
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE