Sunday, April 24, 2011

facebook addiction :: this is hilarious ```!!!!!!

A funny forward!....

If you are on Facebook, I am sure you will find this hilarious 

The 76-year-old woman walked down the hallway of Clearview Addictions Clinic, searching for the right department. She passed signs for the "Heroin Addiction Department (HAD)," the "Smoking Addiction Department (SAD)" and the "Bingo Addiction Department (BAD)." Then she spotted the department she was looking for: "Facebook Addiction Department (FAD)."

It was the busiest department in the clinic, with about three dozen people filling the waiting room, most of them staring blankly into their Blackberries and iPhones. A middle-aged man with unkempt hair was pacing the room, muttering,"I need to milk my cows. I need to milk my cows."

A twenty-something man was prone on the floor, his face buried in his hands, while a curly-haired woman comforted him.

"Don't worry. It'll be all right."

"I just don't understand it. I thought my update was LOL-worthy, but none of my friends even clicked the 'like' button."

"How long has it been?"

"Almost five minutes. That's like five months in the real world."

The 76-year-old woman waited until her name was called, then followed the receptionist into the office of Alfred Zulu, Facebook Addiction Counselor.

"Please have a seat, Edna," he said with a warm smile. "And tell me how it all started."

"Well, it's all my grandson's fault. He sent me an invitation to join Facebook. I had never heard of Facebook before, but I thought it was something for me, because I usually have my face in a book."

"How soon were you hooked?"

"Faster than you can say 'create a profile.' I found myself on Facebook at least eight times each day -- and more times at night. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night to check it, just in case there was an update from one of my new friends in India . My husband didn't like that. He said that friendship is a precious thing and should never be outsourced."

"What do you like most about Facebook?"

"It makes me feel like I have a life. In the real world, I have only five or six friends, but on Facebook, I have 674. I'm even friends with Juan Carlos Montoya."

"Who's he?"

"I don't know, but he's got 4,000 friends, so he must be famous."

"Facebook has helped you make some connections, I see."

"Oh yes. I've even connected with some of the gals from high school -- I still call them 'gals.' I hadn't heard from some of them in ages, so it was exciting to look at their profiles and figure out who's retired, who's still working, and who's had some work done. I love browsing their photos and reading their updates. I know where they've been on vacation, which movies they've watched, and whether they hang their toilet paper over or under. I've also been playing a game with some of them."

"Let me guess. Farmville?"

"No, Mafia Wars. I'm a Hitman. No one messes with Edna."

"Wouldn't you rather meet some of your friends in person?"

"No, not really. It's so much easier on Facebook. We don't need to gussy ourselves up. We don't need to take baths or wear perfume or use mouthwash. That's the best thing about Facebook -- you can't smell anyone. Everyone is attractive, because everyone has picked a good profile pic. One of the gals is using a profile pic that was taken, I'm pretty certain, during the Eisenhower Administration. "

"What pic are you using?"

"Well, I spent five hours searching for a profile pic, but couldn't find one I really liked. So I decided to visit the local beauty salon."

"To make yourself look prettier?"

"No, to take a pic of one of the young ladies there. That's what I'm using."

"Didn't your friends notice that you look different?"

"Some of them did, but I just told them I've been doing lots of yoga."

"When did you realize that your Facebooking might be a problem?"

"I realized it last Sunday night, when I was on Facebook and saw a message on my wall from my husband: 'I moved out of the house five days ago. Just thought you should know.'"

"What did you do?"

"What else? I unfriended him of course!"

Posted via email from Sravan Sarraju

Friday, April 08, 2011

Why Anna Hazare Movement is a huge success?

Now its proven that Anna Hazare movement is a massive success. Movements, hunger strikes, Aandolans for Bills are not new. So how come it worked well this time? This is my interpretation.


1. A Noble Intention


The intention is noble. Fight against corruption. Corruption has no caste/religion/sex. It’s affecting everyone. So every citizen who is reasonably circumspect will agree with the intention of the movement.


2. A Noble Icon


The movement is lead by a noble civil society activist Anna Hazare. Nobody in the country will have any doubts regarding his integrity, character and intention. Hence unless someone is severely benefitted by corruption, they support the movement.


3. Reasonable Ground Work


It’s from months the team formed by Anna Hazare, Kiran Bedi were working on preparation of a draft bill. I feel this is very important. Though many say this bill is too draconian, wen u are countering a lame counterpart prepared by the government, one should have their own first. Of course the demand is not to pass the bill AS IS. 


4. Reasonable Demands


Demands by the activists are very reasonable.


a.    Even though they prepared their own draft of the bill and have people support, they are ready to discuss with government again

b.    They didn’t demand the bill to be passed as is. All they asked is for equal partnership in the bill making committee as government lost peoples faith after repeated scams in past few months.


5. The flow of events


This is also a very interesting part to observe inorder to understand why exactly this movement gained huge support. 




Event : A Noble person backed by people with high integrity starting a hunger fast.  

Result : This brings them instant support from all NGOs, Activists and Social Workers




Event : Facebook & Twitter Campaign against corruption

Result : Since my above 1,2,3,4 points will convince any regular netizen to support this movement, good amount of activity starts across the social networks. Retweets, polls, Facebook likes, Display changes etc. 





Event : Entry of Media

Result : Given the good amount of support from Activists, NGOs, and huge activity in twitter & facebook regarding single cause, Media finds its feet into the issue and starts reporting.




Event : Tweets, Retweets by Celebs who are famous for their integrity in twitter

Result : This cause more social network traffic and awareness of the issue and also medias attention




Event : Entry of opposition parties

Result : More visibility for the movement and more media coverage in news channels




Event : Given the extensive coverage of media and huge traffic in Social network, and also calls to come out and support the movement, people across the country start coming out showing their support by participating in the events organized by NGOs/Activists in their town.

Result : More Media Coverage. Govt attention.




Event : As the events a,b,c,d,e,f multiply their effect as the time moves on More celebs showing their support. More NGOs. More Parties.


Result : The government starts coming down. Realization of the goal of the movement




Event : As people see Government coming down to the movement, this results in more support for the movement, more confidence in people, more intensity

Result : No options left for Government.


This is a very healthy trend and if done in right way, I believe this is the way forward to solve all major issues faced by India.


I’m extremely hopeful that this design pattern will be our future father of nation to bring out of nation from chaos.


Jai Hind!

Posted via email from Sravan Sarraju